


On My Own Two Feet

by Lady_of_Winterhell



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, One Shot, they communicate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21740821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_of_Winterhell/pseuds/Lady_of_Winterhell
Summary: A snapshot of Josh and Donna after she leaves through when they meet again. I've always wondered what we missed in not seeing a conversation happen between Josh and Donna about their time apart, so I attempt to explore some of those emotions here. Possibly written with Monica's "Before You Walk Out My Life" playing in the background.
Relationships: Josh Lyman/Donna Moss
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	On My Own Two Feet

**Author's Note:**

> Just some thoughts and dialogue. Nothing fancy! This is my first time writing Josh/Donna because I could never find the plot bunny I needed to do justice to this fantastic couple. I love Josh, and I love Donna. I think so much of their split was in a simple lack of communication, so I explore that a bit here.

In a pose certainly unbecoming of the Campaign Manager of the Democratic Presidential Nominee, Josh stood helpless like a little boy as Donna stormed away from his office—and likely for good this time. He thought of a million things he could say to stop her, to fix whatever this was. Josh had always heard the saying “time heals everything,” but watching Donna stalk down the halls of the Santos Campaign Headquarters demonstrated something else entirely on both of their parts. She was pissed; he was hurt. Of course, they always had their banter, the back and forth that kept their days interesting. They also had their fights. Before, they always moved on, always remained Josh and Donna. This time around, neither of them knew how to lose their pride, lick their wounds, and heal.

Like eight years ago, she came to him prepared to work. In the eight years he had known her, Donna always demonstrated a great aptitude and promise for the work. Josh wasn’t sure he knew anyone who could solve the problems of D.C. quite like Donna. Months ago, Donna quit her job as Josh’s assistant. 

Unlike eight years ago, Josh had no choice but to send her walking. Deep down, Josh understood why Donna left. It was a rational career move. It was a choice he had made before. Donna needed to branch out and learn the ropes. Without a doubt, Donna had a brilliant political mind. If Donna had finished college, Josh was certain he would be running her campaign at some point. Donna Moss could quite literally take over the party if she wanted. That’s just how organized and charismatic she was. Josh thought she knew from their time together just how brilliant she is. Among the many reasons it broke Josh’s heart to turn Donna away, he knew what a great asset he was turning away from the Santos Campaign.

He was prepared for her arrival. If nothing, Donna had always understood the grind of Washington politics. Whether she was willing to acknowledge it, she also had powerful connections. Not many land a top spot in a serious presidential campaign their first time out of the gate, especially not in Donna’s circumstances. But there she was. Regardless of her missteps and that time she literally argued with chicken suit guy, she had done well. It was hard for Josh to put together that file, but he knew it had to be done. He had to protect his heart as much as his candidate. 

Many months, relationship troubles, and campaign woes later, Donna wanted to work for Josh again. To his credit, Josh had known the quasi-family he established during the Bartlet Administration existed only on borrowed time. However, that’s not how he lived while he was there. That’s not how any of them lived, soaking in the false security of a family unity. But none of that mattered because life without Donna was a sorrow that he had never known before. A part of Josh always loved Donna. He loved her as his hardworking assistant who would always come through, but there was also more. He was never comfortable with putting his finger directly on what it was. It broke his heart to see her lying in that hospital room in Germany because of the work he had given her. It broke his heart to see the endless parade of worthless men swooping in and out of her life. It broke his heart to watch her walk out of his life without nary a word.

Sure, Josh had previous relationships with women. There had been his mother, his sister, his casual girlfriends—but none filled the special place Donna held in his heart. Every day he showed up in the West Wing for work without Donna felt like he was slowly suffocating. Other people could do the work, though not always as effectively as Donna without further communication and prodding. It just wasn’t fun without Donna. It wasn’t the Bartlett White House that had effectively become his home and family. Without Donna, Josh was empty.

After all of this, Josh wasn’t even surprised when Lou finally hired Donna. She knew the work and she knew how to get her foot in the door. For what it was worth, Josh was glad to have Donna back—even if he didn’t have her back. Something had changed with them. He wasn’t exactly sure what, but he had always been a fan of Donna’s energy. But still, it stung like hell every time their eyes would meet. As professionals, they never let it stand in the way of their main objective to get Santos elected.

What shocked the hell out of Josh was when they eventually kissed for the first time. It was a long time coming, but he wasn’t sure it would ever happen. He wasn’t even sure if it was appropriate, so he decided to follow Donna’s lead. And follow Donna’s lead he did. The first time they were together was like nothing Josh had ever experienced before. Obviously, Josh was no blushing virgin, but this was Donna. He felt her passion and her want. It was an entirely different ball game. He was happy to have this part of Donna. Perhaps it was then that Josh finally understood what it was: he had always admired Donna’s spunk and political acumen, but he loved this Donna who cared for him as a person. He realized that over the years, it wasn’t the work that had Donna rushing to his side, to be with him in recovery after the shooting, to be with him while he was in the depths of a PTSD episode, to want to protect him. Donna loved him, too.

Josh Lyman was always a smart guy, but he would be embarrassed to admit just how long it took him to figure all of this out. As they laid together that first night, Josh wondered many things. Foremost, he wondered if Donna would regret all of this happened. Should he be ashamed that he slept with a subordinate, even if it was on the campaign trail? Had he ruined his relationship with Donna for good now? Josh tried to swallow those fears and just relax. He still had a lot of work ahead of him. Perhaps now wasn’t a good time to panic. However, he had to know.

“Donna?”

“Hmm?” She blew blonde her bangs out of her face, barely lifting her head off of his bare chest. Josh had decided that sleeping Donna, especially after their activities, was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. 

“Why did you go?” She opened her blue eyes then and stared wide eye into Josh’s eyes. Shit. I hope I didn’t just blow it. “Just what I have been thinking about now. Not that we need to talk about it now.”

“Oh good. I’m glad you’re sharing because I could practically hear you thinking. I was hoping you weren’t seriously running polls in your head just then.” Josh let out a chuckle as she shifted a little to face him directly. 

“Seriously, we don’t have to do this. I was just thinking, and I can’t even believe I said it out loud.”

“But you did, so you want to talk about it.”

Josh Lyman had done a lot of things in life, made a lot of strides. He was a successful man who helmed the leadership of the Democratic Party and had both the ear of the current President and presumptive President. He had talked to world leaders, tried to get Democrats and Republicans to come to agreements, negotiated peace, and so much more. Yet, talking to Donna somehow unnerved him. He didn’t want to ruin things between them.

“I left because I had to go, Josh. I just had to. I needed to see what else I could do besides be Josh Lyman’s assistant.”

“That’s fair, but I hope you know…”

“Let me finish, please. I really do think it’s important that you hear this. I wanted to explore my opportunities. That explains part of your question, at least the part that you already knew. What you really want to know is why I left without talking to you, the guy who could have quite literally talked me into any gig I wanted. And Josh, it’s because I knew that if I spoke to you first, I would never go.”

He blinked a few times and looked at her face. There was a longing there that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“Josh, I’ve loved you for so long. Maybe not always in the romantic sense, but when it was, I knew it would go nowhere. It couldn’t. The headlines would’ve been terrible. But I was willing to stay with you forever because of it until one day I realized that it wasn’t working for either one of us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Really? I have to say it?”

“Since I’m not a mind reader, yes.”

“I was never going to go looking for the opportunities I wanted because I was totally devoted to you. I needed to be Donna. And you were never going to do anything about your own feelings, not as my boss. Be honest: would we be here right now if I had stayed?”

He didn’t even have to think about it. “Well, not for the lack of want, but no. I would never. Donna, I’ve always admired you and everything you are. I would do nothing to compromise our working relationship or make you think I’m a creep who only gave you a chance to later turn around and get in bed with you. Not my style, and you are so much more than that.” Suddenly a bit unsure of himself, he continued, “It just…it was more than I expected when you left. Honestly, I don’t know what I expected. I never expected you to walk out of my life.”

He could tell he gave her the answer she expected. Yet, she was still contemplative. “No, it’s not, Josh. We had grown co-dependent and complacent with what we were. I had grown complacent just being your assistant. Now, you’re lying in bed with a woman who knows she’s her own woman. I didn’t go because you were a horrible boss or because I thought I could do better. I went because I needed to make it on my own and be the kind of woman you would be with.”

He shifted uncomfortably, hoping he hadn’t sent the wrong message to her. “Donna, I need you to know something. You’ve never needed to change yourself for me. You’ve always been perfect, sweet Donna Moss from Wisconsin. Nothing not to love about you. You’re beautiful, brilliant, kind, and wise.”

Sharing with him a sheepish grin, she brought her finger to his lips in hushing motion. “And I know that you would never try to change me. But I needed to know that I am the kind of woman who can stand on her own two feet.”

With the cockiest grin Joshua Lyman could muster, he asked, “Well, are you?”

As she leaned into kiss him, she said ever so slightly, “Well, I’m not standing right now because I appear to be falling.”

Strumming her hair, he added, “Just do me favor?”

“Hmm?”

“Keep falling while you stand on your own two feet.”


End file.
